Hi friends! Stephanie, here. So obviously a lot happens in two years and it might be hard to wrap up in one blog post, so I'll share some lessons we've learned so far. I keep a personal blog and so I will be using some excerpts from there on here!
Nate and I were married on August 12th, 2012. Within the first few months of marriage, we learned very important facts/quirks about each other. Silly, but important to us (and maybe even to our quality of life). Like when Nate eats pasta, every noodle must be fully covered in sauce or else he needs to add more. Or, if it's the 2 of us, he's the one who drives most of the time. Just out of habit, since it was his car first. And apparently I grind my teeth in my sleep (obviously I couldn't have figured that one out on my own.) I also tend to under-cook food. Nate knows that if I think something is done he should really leave it in for another 5 minutes. :)
Yeah, those are pretty silly things. But there were also more substantial lessons we had to work through together. Like humility. Pride tends to work it's way into some part of life. Not the boastful "Look at me" pride, but the kind of pride that says "No, it's not my day to do laundry!" versus "I'll wash, you dry." That type of thing. Some days stress or frustration creeps in and we both think we're too good for everyday tasks and assume the other person will do them without even offering. About 7 months into marriage, after a few days of testy attitudes and very little communication, I found myself on a hunt for a Bible verse I could pray over and talk about. I was tired of spending half my time with my husband being frustrated with him and I needed a verse to remind me why we are married in the first place. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3 was the verse God showed me, and it really helped me put into perspective that marriage isn't about me.
There's definitely a learning curve to deal with when you get married and start living every day with each other! But along with the questionable comes the joyful. The gentle. The comforting. Over the past two year I've been in physical pain (migraines are mean) and anxious, and Nate has worked long hours at his job, and we've both been able to comfort each other in those times. If that means I have dinner ready when he gets home after being at work for 12 hours, or if that means he gives me a much-needed neck massage after a wedding or run, we'll do it for each other because that's what we committed to do. Not that I LOVE cooking, and not that he is very GOOD at massages, but we're both getting better and it's the thought that counts. :) God is so gentle and patient with us, and I'm very thankful for that, because He is constantly reminding us to be patient and gentle with each other.
Every marriage is different and that's something that I'm always reminding myself (like, everyday). There's no perfect recipe to a perfect marriage. Love and cherish. Agree and compromise. I wash, you dry. Those are a few things that have been working for us. I still feel like 2 years is a very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, and I can't wait to live out God's plans for us in the years to come.
~ Stephanie
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