A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on my personal blog (you can check it out here) on a subject very close to my heart: singleness. I'd like to reprise that this morning for y'all. Check out below what I believe so many single girls want to tell those of you who are happily dating, engaged or married. A little anecdote to start us off:
Me, Sarah, and Imani at the wedding
My
friend Imani recently traveled back to the States from the DR (where she is
tirelessly and faithfully serving the Lord with Makarios International)
for a wedding of a close friend of ours. We were both bridesmaids and had a
fabulous weekend wine touring, catching up with old friends, making new
friends, and talking about boys. We’re girls, after all. I had my eye on a cute
one who got snatched from my grasp (I’m definitely giving myself too much
credit) by an altogether too attractive bombshell at the reception. I
certainly wasn’t devastated since I’d literally known the man for a day, but it
was annoying regardless. In her sweet way of delivering pointed questions,
Imani asked me a few days later how I was feeling about the whole situation. My
partly authentic and partly sarcastic answer was the following: “Oh it’s okay.
I literally knew him for 3 hours. My life will not end. I’ll be loveless but not
dead. Haha.” Then we both proceeded to laugh about how that last phrase
describes our lives up to this point perfectly.
Cue
the blog title! I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write about my
lackluster love life. Really
though, I think my comment has something genuine to say about those of us who
continue to live the single life faithfully as unto the Lord. And I’m not going
to rant on and on about this, but I think it’s worth saying.
JUST
BECAUSE I’M 24 YEARS OLD AND SINGLE DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG
WITH ME. It means that I have friends who are too attractive. I need new ones.
Preferably plain ones who aren’t blonde or tall or human. (I’m kidding, don’t
worry). Friends, I am loveless, but I am definitely not dead. My
interpretation: just because I am single and ready to mingle yet mingling
without success does not mean that I am failing at life. In fact, there are a
lot of things happening in my life that I am excited about – they just don’t
happen to be my engagement, my wedding or my future children. Those things are
wonderful and I am more than happy to celebrate those things with my friends
and family, but I am not deficient because they aren’t happening to me
yet.
I
don’t want this to sound rude or overzealous. And I’m partly still trying
to convince myself that everything I just wrote in that last paragraph is true.
I wanted to write about this because it is a struggle in my life
right now and one that I have to continually surrender to the Lord. I am
learning to trust that my singleness has a purpose. I am beginning
to trust that my life won’t be horrendous if God calls me to be single
forever (even as I’m fervently praying that it isn’t the case). I am attempting
to be content where I’ve been called and as I’ve been called. I want support. I
want people to affirm my singleness rather than constantly inquire as to
whether I’ve remedied my unfortunate circumstance of aloneness. I want to see
and hear and taste more of the Lord in this season of my life so as to be fully
prepared when He calls me out of it.
I hope that all you single ladies out there live it up like Beyonce are encouraged that your life is not defined by your relationship status. God has plans for you which may or may not include marriage. Either way, His plans are good and He loves you. That is enough for me. And I hope it is enough for you. Be joyful today in His love!
<3 sarah elyse
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