{News}

I know it's been a long time coming for a new blog post around these parts! The team at Joie Mag has been discussing and praying about the future of Joie Mag. Because of new jobs, new family members and new life goals, we've decided that it is best for us not to publish any more magazine issues of Joie. We are sad for this change, but very grateful for the time we had to write the blog and magazine, and collaborate with some amazing women. Thanks for being with us on this journey.

{Like-Minded Community}

"Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25

Over the last month or so, God has very clearly reminded me that we need to be in community with like-minded people. He has reminded me in a variety of ways, most recently, though, in the form of a couple of friends stepping up their prayer and marriage examples for Nate and I.

If you have these types of friends, hold on tight. Cherish them. These are the friends with whom we should want to spend most of our time. The friends who are truthful, kind, loving, and unashamed of the Gospel. This is not to say that we can't be witnesses of God's love to other friends who need Him. What I'm talking about right now is the people who we see most often and the people with whom we form bonds should have similar beliefs and mindsets on God, life and family.

Us humans are easily influenced, this isn't news. Whatever we spend our time doing (or who we spend it WITH) comes through in our personalities and our attitudes. And we want to be like Christ, right? Well, we need help with that, and God gave us friends.

Here are some ideas about the people with whom we should want to be spending our time, and the type of friend we should want to be: (and you can vice-versa all these phrases):

Surround yourself with friends who aren't afraid of give-and-take.
Be the friend who makes people feel comfortable about sharing their stories.
Surround yourself with friends who make you want to be a better person.
Be the friend who listens intently.
Surround yourself with friends with whom you can discuss the tough questions.
Be the friend who invites people over and doesn't mind if they stay until midnight.
Surround yourself with friends who teach you and lift you up.
Be the friend who gives generously.

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:15

-Stephanie

{Pre-Wedding Pep Talk}

I know many couples getting married this summer and fall. Hoards of wedding advice and marriage tips are probably being tossed your way right about now, between bridal showers and in-laws and church friends and wedding blogs. I am sure most of the advice is valid, but remember that each marriage, each couple, each LIFE is very, very different. So instead of being overwhelmed (or thinking "Wow, I need to apply every piece of advice to my life RIGHT NOW") thank each person for their thoughts and tuck it away for when you really need it. 

That being said, I wanted to share a Bible verse that is really important to me and my husband. Think of this as a little pep-talk. Ephesians 4:2 - "Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults because of your love." It's hard to always live like that, but remember that the Word of God is true and it keeps us in check with where our hearts are. Marriage is a balance of giving. You give your love, your time, and encouragement. And it might seem like a lot, but if you are each giving each other equal amounts of everything, you'll both be getting just what you need! 

<3 Stephanie

Our Oakland Adventure | Brittany Stites

Today we have a guest post by Brittany Stites, who is sharing about her and her husband's journey of planting a new church in California. God has taught them a few lessons along the way, so read on! Thanks Brittany!

My husband, a pastor, and I came from an amazing church in small town Martinez, California. (You know it's a small town when they shut down Main Street for the annual Homecoming Parade!) In October 2014 we were graciously sent out to plant a church. Now we live in Oakland, an awesome urban area, full of culture, color, creativity. I couldn’t be more convinced that we were created to live in this sort of setting! It has been a short 3 months since we moved here and I couldn’t feel more at home. I am seriously IN LOVE!!!!! And every day my love grows deeper and wider for this city. I am literally bursting with adrenaline as I sit and type, wishing you could see my excitement! I think I could run about 5 miles right now!!! Okay, so I think you know I am overflowing with joy to share some of our adventure! 

Making the decision to “Church Plant” was a no brainer for us. It has been in the works for almost 7 years - starting with a passion planted in my husband’s heart during college. As we dug deep through the pages of the Gospels and Acts, our hearts grew with a love and excitement. Now being able to actually live out what we day-dreamed about is absolutely and positively the most joyous and wonderful thing we could be doing in this world.

Now with all the rainbows, glitter and unicorns that planting brings, this has been by far the hardest and most challenging season in our life (and it’s just the beginning). But thank you Jesus for working in and through us to bring you glory! With every tear, frustration, and moments of being stretched and having no answers, Jesus has carried us through it all. We couldn’t be more thankful for the hard stuff, without which we wouldn’t be growing or looking to Him. Even though the learning process is hard and seems as if we will never understand, there is always (usually) that moment when the light bulb begins to glow – and it is beautiful.

When we began the official process of our adventure, we sat down with our mentors. As I talked, the words “I hate the church” spouted from my mouth. Later our mentors graciously responded with, “Brittany, we want you to love Jesus’ Church, the Church is beautiful and Jesus is patiently waiting for the day when He gets to be reunited with His Bride.” As they said this I realized I used the wrong language and furthermore I didn’t hate people. What I did have was a strong dislike for Sunday Services, the building, and all the stress and anxiety that those brought me. I have learned the power and importance of language. Yes, these are simply words, but the more you hear and use words the more a belief is formed from them. Example: if a person is told they are ugly and continues to say it to themselves, they will soon believe they are hideous and not even worth to be looked at.

The word “Church” means something a lot different than what a majority of people think of when they hear the word. It is not a place or a building, an event or a program. It is you and me and everybody who believes in Jesus and is filled with His Spirit. WE ARE THE CHURCH! PEOPLE! I am the Church when my daughter wakes up an hour early and I don’t get time to myself, but I get to show her grace and love and begin to build her character and teach her about Jesus. I am the Church when I have to apologize to my husband for disrespecting him. And he is The Church when he gives me grace and forgiveness! This is a very beautiful thing! But when we associate church with a few hours a week or a location, even subconsciously, we forget that the Church is a body – not a building.

We have chosen to use the word gathering, rather than church, to describe what we do each week. We see the Church as a family that comes together to celebrate, learn and worship – not simply as an event / building we attend. This simple word change in my everyday language has begun to change my perspective of the Church is – and my love for people has grown tremendously. My husband and I have taken a different approach to “Church Planting” then what we originally thought we would take. We didn’t move to Oakland with a large group of people, a building, worship pastor, children’s department, hospitality team, and service flow. We moved to Oakland with a missionary perspective. A missionary doesn’t immediately build a building then begin preaching and teaching to its congregation. They first get to know the culture and its belief. They learn what they celebrate, how they have fun and what they struggle with. A missionary begins to build strong friendships with neighbors and finds connections with others in their city. They take part of things that are already up and happening instead of starting their own thing, all the while being the hands and feet

All in all we are not called to plant a church – we are called to plant the Gospel by being present as Spirit-filled people. Don’t allow the weekly services and buildings to distract you from your day-to-day call to BE the Church – you have everything you need in Jesus!

Words by Brittany Stites

Keeping Life on Track (When it Feels So Off the Tracks) | Ariel Kuhn

    Today's blog post comes from my good friend Ariel. She's a newlywed and photographer and amazing woman of the Lord. Today she is sharing an important part of her story with us. Thank you for your wisdom, Ariel! 

~*~

    There are all kinds of books you can buy, articles you can read, and advice you can hear about how to deal with changes in life (no, I’m not talking about the “change is just around the corner” video you saw in health class…). How to adapt to moving away from friends and family, how to get used to being married, how to get out and meet new people, how to church hop ;) . But what happens when all of that, adding in a tendency toward introversion, takes place at once?? Well, in my case a mental explosion.

     I am a homebody. I went to college 45 minutes from my mom and stepdad's house in New York in a town that my dad and step mom live in and even commuted to my own church (which I love, like a lot) each Sunday – people wondered if I even went to college. The year after I graduated I lived at home, worked at a wonderful school where I already knew some staff, helped lead the youth and young adult groups at my church, hung out with my friends when I wanted to, saw my little sister when she came home from college, got to chat with my mom whenever a breakdown was coming, visited my dad at work,…everything was peachy.

     I had always imagined when I met the man I would marry, naturally he would follow me to my hometown and attend my church and fall in with my group of friends. We would live near my family (I mean, who wouldn't love my family?), I would get to keep my life...all with the added bonus of a husband. I imagined my life to be very neat, orderly, and even easy.

     Well, let me tell ya, my imagination didn't concoct the outcome where my boyfriend, Jon, and I break up in college, he moves to Ohio (who cares, right?), two years later we decide to date again, we do long distance, he proposes, we get married, I move to Ohio (oh, I guess now I should care) where I know no one, I look for a job and get welcomed into a church that hasn't known me since I was a kid, all while fighting my introvert nature to be perfectly content curled up at home for the next 5 years not speaking to anyone. That, my friends, was a lot for me to take in.

     Jon and I would talk about plans for where we were going to live once we got married, and I would literally cry when it got brought up because I knew I would be the one to move based on our circumstances. I would get overwhelmed and then we'd have to halt the conversation and he would wait another few weeks to bring it up again. Then we would start the cycle all over again.

     Maybe pathetic, but that's me - I like my routine and I like knowing what to expect and moving to a state that I couldn't even find on a map was definitely not routine and I absolutely didn't know what to expect. I was scared.

     And I'm not ashamed to say that 7 months later, I'm just now getting the hang of things. Which brings me to what I want to share (now that you understand my inner workings). In all that mess, my relationship with God took a backseat. I felt like I was holding on by a thread and thought if I even uttered a prayer, I would bawl my eyes out thinking about everything changing in my life.

     But I had one truth - God never changes. He is the vine and we are the branches (John 15:5). We can't go anywhere or do anything if we aren't connected to Him - and despite our schedules and busy thoughts - there has to be time for him or we start to whither. I was definitely feeling the withering. I started paying more attention and being more intentional about my days. I saw what steps I could take to make sure, in the craziness, I didn't forget or dismiss my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Here’s what He showed me:

1. Try to hear what He's telling you through the noise. 

He mixed up my world so I would learn to turn to Him and trust His plans above mine. I was so rooted in what I thought I wanted I wasn't open to anything else. I had to pay attention to see why I had to move and why everything in my life got flipped upside down.

2. Make yourself a schedule.

When I first moved, I didn't have a job and would let days pass where I didn't open my bible or try to be productive at all because "I didn't have to." Even if it's while eating breakfast, on your lunch break, or right before bed - having a scheduled devotion time (and great devotional - I recommend "The Daily God Book" by Erin Keeley Marshall) creates an expectation. It becomes easier to get back in the habit of spending time with God when you know there's an uninterrupted time designated for it.

3. Make an effort...at your pace, but make an effort. 

To some, it may not seem as though I moved fast enough into making friends or taking ownership of my new surroundings (still calling my mom's house "home" and the church I grew up in "my church"...actually, those things still may happen ; ) ) but at my own pace, I opened up to people I came to trust, found a job, and got acclimated to this new place. Making the effort is key, it's easy to sit back feeling sorry for yourself, but if you try - you'll be met halfway. God has favor waiting for you.

4. Have a rockin' husband.

I realize this isn't something everyone can check off their list, but my purpose in saying it is have someone who knows you well and who you can be completely open with. A best friend. Your momma. There were times Jon had to push me to attend our young adult group because I wouldn't want to go, or times I tried to do too much when he would tell me to calm down. Having someone to talk to about all the havoc in your life helps settle your thoughts.

5. Trust.

If you love God and you've devoted your life to Him, know He will take care of you and He has a plan. No matter your circumstance, He is there and He wants to hear your voice so don't stay quiet. See what He's showing you.

     I know it's been a long, hard journey for me to go through life being turned around every which way. But now with a clear head I can see I wouldn't have had to get out of my comfort zone had I stayed where I was and I have a feeling God needed me to. There's a lot I've learned about marriage and about my personality and about my maturity that's invaluable to me at this point. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wish I could go back a year and tell myself that moving isn't so bad, it'll take time, but there are doors to be opened there that can't be found anywhere else (I should hope myself would believe me, haha).

     I learned a lot, as cliché as it sounds. Mostly, I have learned to find the branch and cling - because that's where our nutrients come from, it's where the spring in our step comes from, and it's where life is given. That's where I want to be.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John‬ 15:5

By His Wounds

Isn't this a sweet reminder of Jesus' love for us? With Easter approaching, I wanted to remind myself of the sacrifice that Jesus made for me. For you. He freely gave himself up so that we wouldn't have to suffer. I sometimes still have a hard time fully grasping that concept. Thank you, Jesus, for your love.

~Stephanie

10 Resolutions for your Marriage

Fierce Marriage recently wrote a GREAT article on the 10 resolutions that will truly benefit your marriage and make it stronger this year. I am super inspired to put these to action in my own marriage. I highly recommend reading the original article here.

MORE:

Bible reading. You'll each grow in the Lord.

Prayer. Apart and together.

Encouragement. Praise each others strengths.

Quality Time. Just listening and being present.

Godly Community. Build each other up.

LESS:

TV. Good conversations will result.

Social Media. Less time will be wasted.

Work. Find a balance.

Complaining. Be grateful for what God has given you.

Unhealthy Arguing. Be constructive and kind.

{Devotional} Enough

Sometimes certain aspects of life get in the way of the things that really matter in the grand scheme of things. Like when work seems too big and the tasks of the day won't actually fit into a day, I start to feel inadequate and overwhelmed. I worry that people won't take my work seriously, or that I don't have enough of a 'following' to take my business to the next level. It's so easy to get focused on worth in regards to how 'well' we are doing, when in reality, our worth is worth SO much more than that.

Because of my reoccurring tendency of worrying about if people like me or not, the last few weeks have been dedicated to refreshing my heart about my identity in Christ. These two verses have been such a huge encouragement to me! 

"For He chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight." (Ephesians 1:4)

“‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.’” (Isaiah 43:10)

So whenever (because it does happen) you get overwhelmed. Or frustrated. Or worried that you aren't doing well enough in life... Remember: He chose you. God did! The God of the Universe! Chose YOU! To be holy. To be his child. And He knows you are worth it... that you are enough. 

~Stephanie 

I may be loveless, but I'm definitely not dead.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on my personal blog (you can check it out here) on a subject very close to my heart: singleness. I'd like to reprise that this morning for y'all. Check out below what I believe so many single girls want to tell those of you who are happily dating, engaged or married. A little anecdote to start us off: 

Me, Sarah, and Imani at the wedding

My friend Imani recently traveled back to the States from the DR (where she is tirelessly and faithfully serving the Lord with Makarios International) for a wedding of a close friend of ours. We were both bridesmaids and had a fabulous weekend wine touring, catching up with old friends, making new friends, and talking about boys. We’re girls, after all. I had my eye on a cute one who got snatched from my grasp (I’m definitely giving myself too much credit) by an altogether too attractive bombshell at the reception. I certainly wasn’t devastated since I’d literally known the man for a day, but it was annoying regardless. In her sweet way of delivering pointed questions, Imani asked me a few days later how I was feeling about the whole situation. My partly authentic and partly sarcastic answer was the following: “Oh it’s okay. I literally knew him for 3 hours. My life will not end. I’ll be loveless but not dead. Haha.” Then we both proceeded to laugh about how that last phrase describes our lives up to this point perfectly. 

Cue the blog title! I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write about my lackluster love life. Really though, I think my comment has something genuine to say about those of us who continue to live the single life faithfully as unto the Lord. And I’m not going to rant on and on about this, but I think it’s worth saying. 

JUST BECAUSE I’M 24 YEARS OLD AND SINGLE DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME. It means that I have friends who are too attractive. I need new ones. Preferably plain ones who aren’t blonde or tall or human. (I’m kidding, don’t worry). Friends, I am loveless, but I am definitely not dead. My interpretation: just because I am single and ready to mingle yet mingling without success does not mean that I am failing at life. In fact, there are a lot of things happening in my life that I am excited about – they just don’t happen to be my engagement, my wedding or my future children. Those things are wonderful and I am more than happy to celebrate those things with my friends and family, but I am not deficient because they aren’t happening to me yet. 

I don’t want this to sound rude or overzealous. And I’m partly still trying to convince myself that everything I just wrote in that last paragraph is true. I wanted to write about this because it is a struggle in my life right now and one that I have to continually surrender to the Lord. I am learning to trust that my singleness has a purpose. I am beginning to trust that my life won’t be horrendous if God calls me to be single forever (even as I’m fervently praying that it isn’t the case). I am attempting to be content where I’ve been called and as I’ve been called. I want support. I want people to affirm my singleness rather than constantly inquire as to whether I’ve remedied my unfortunate circumstance of aloneness. I want to see and hear and taste more of the Lord in this season of my life so as to be fully prepared when He calls me out of it. 

I hope that all you single ladies out there live it up like Beyonce are encouraged that your life is not defined by your relationship status. God has plans for you which may or may not include marriage. Either way, His plans are good and He loves you. That is enough for me. And I hope it is enough for you. Be joyful today in His love! 

<3 sarah elyse