{News}

I know it's been a long time coming for a new blog post around these parts! The team at Joie Mag has been discussing and praying about the future of Joie Mag. Because of new jobs, new family members and new life goals, we've decided that it is best for us not to publish any more magazine issues of Joie. We are sad for this change, but very grateful for the time we had to write the blog and magazine, and collaborate with some amazing women. Thanks for being with us on this journey.

{Allow Time for Spontaneity}

My husband and I just celebrated our third year of marriage (yay!). We've learned a lot this year as a couple, but I want to share one of my favorite and most practical lessons. This is something we have learned only in the last couple months: to not plan every single minute of our days. We learned to allow time for spontaneous adventures (or relaxing afternoons, because you never know what you'll need!) and it's really been a game changer for our relationship and happiness. 

Take Sundays for instance: a day when, usually, we go to church and already have plans to hang out with friends or family afterward. Then it's a trip to the grocery store and an evening of chores (or maybe I catch up on a little work). It's very planned, and although helpful and productive, it's the same. Every Sunday. 

One Sunday after church, we decided to do nothing and see where the day took us. We went to get coffee and decided right then and there to go on a two mile walk around a nearby lake - just because we could! We had time! We didn’t have anything else planned! (Fun fact: this was the very day we learned this lesson!) Guess what, it was my favorite day of that month. I remember it vividly. I remember what we talked about and what the weather felt like. It was like we reset our weekend and really took in all the goodness. Because we had time to.


So friends, plan time to be spontaneous. It’s good for your heart. 

- Stephanie

{Like-Minded Community}

"Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25

Over the last month or so, God has very clearly reminded me that we need to be in community with like-minded people. He has reminded me in a variety of ways, most recently, though, in the form of a couple of friends stepping up their prayer and marriage examples for Nate and I.

If you have these types of friends, hold on tight. Cherish them. These are the friends with whom we should want to spend most of our time. The friends who are truthful, kind, loving, and unashamed of the Gospel. This is not to say that we can't be witnesses of God's love to other friends who need Him. What I'm talking about right now is the people who we see most often and the people with whom we form bonds should have similar beliefs and mindsets on God, life and family.

Us humans are easily influenced, this isn't news. Whatever we spend our time doing (or who we spend it WITH) comes through in our personalities and our attitudes. And we want to be like Christ, right? Well, we need help with that, and God gave us friends.

Here are some ideas about the people with whom we should want to be spending our time, and the type of friend we should want to be: (and you can vice-versa all these phrases):

Surround yourself with friends who aren't afraid of give-and-take.
Be the friend who makes people feel comfortable about sharing their stories.
Surround yourself with friends who make you want to be a better person.
Be the friend who listens intently.
Surround yourself with friends with whom you can discuss the tough questions.
Be the friend who invites people over and doesn't mind if they stay until midnight.
Surround yourself with friends who teach you and lift you up.
Be the friend who gives generously.

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:15

-Stephanie

Our Oakland Adventure | Brittany Stites

Today we have a guest post by Brittany Stites, who is sharing about her and her husband's journey of planting a new church in California. God has taught them a few lessons along the way, so read on! Thanks Brittany!

My husband, a pastor, and I came from an amazing church in small town Martinez, California. (You know it's a small town when they shut down Main Street for the annual Homecoming Parade!) In October 2014 we were graciously sent out to plant a church. Now we live in Oakland, an awesome urban area, full of culture, color, creativity. I couldn’t be more convinced that we were created to live in this sort of setting! It has been a short 3 months since we moved here and I couldn’t feel more at home. I am seriously IN LOVE!!!!! And every day my love grows deeper and wider for this city. I am literally bursting with adrenaline as I sit and type, wishing you could see my excitement! I think I could run about 5 miles right now!!! Okay, so I think you know I am overflowing with joy to share some of our adventure! 

Making the decision to “Church Plant” was a no brainer for us. It has been in the works for almost 7 years - starting with a passion planted in my husband’s heart during college. As we dug deep through the pages of the Gospels and Acts, our hearts grew with a love and excitement. Now being able to actually live out what we day-dreamed about is absolutely and positively the most joyous and wonderful thing we could be doing in this world.

Now with all the rainbows, glitter and unicorns that planting brings, this has been by far the hardest and most challenging season in our life (and it’s just the beginning). But thank you Jesus for working in and through us to bring you glory! With every tear, frustration, and moments of being stretched and having no answers, Jesus has carried us through it all. We couldn’t be more thankful for the hard stuff, without which we wouldn’t be growing or looking to Him. Even though the learning process is hard and seems as if we will never understand, there is always (usually) that moment when the light bulb begins to glow – and it is beautiful.

When we began the official process of our adventure, we sat down with our mentors. As I talked, the words “I hate the church” spouted from my mouth. Later our mentors graciously responded with, “Brittany, we want you to love Jesus’ Church, the Church is beautiful and Jesus is patiently waiting for the day when He gets to be reunited with His Bride.” As they said this I realized I used the wrong language and furthermore I didn’t hate people. What I did have was a strong dislike for Sunday Services, the building, and all the stress and anxiety that those brought me. I have learned the power and importance of language. Yes, these are simply words, but the more you hear and use words the more a belief is formed from them. Example: if a person is told they are ugly and continues to say it to themselves, they will soon believe they are hideous and not even worth to be looked at.

The word “Church” means something a lot different than what a majority of people think of when they hear the word. It is not a place or a building, an event or a program. It is you and me and everybody who believes in Jesus and is filled with His Spirit. WE ARE THE CHURCH! PEOPLE! I am the Church when my daughter wakes up an hour early and I don’t get time to myself, but I get to show her grace and love and begin to build her character and teach her about Jesus. I am the Church when I have to apologize to my husband for disrespecting him. And he is The Church when he gives me grace and forgiveness! This is a very beautiful thing! But when we associate church with a few hours a week or a location, even subconsciously, we forget that the Church is a body – not a building.

We have chosen to use the word gathering, rather than church, to describe what we do each week. We see the Church as a family that comes together to celebrate, learn and worship – not simply as an event / building we attend. This simple word change in my everyday language has begun to change my perspective of the Church is – and my love for people has grown tremendously. My husband and I have taken a different approach to “Church Planting” then what we originally thought we would take. We didn’t move to Oakland with a large group of people, a building, worship pastor, children’s department, hospitality team, and service flow. We moved to Oakland with a missionary perspective. A missionary doesn’t immediately build a building then begin preaching and teaching to its congregation. They first get to know the culture and its belief. They learn what they celebrate, how they have fun and what they struggle with. A missionary begins to build strong friendships with neighbors and finds connections with others in their city. They take part of things that are already up and happening instead of starting their own thing, all the while being the hands and feet

All in all we are not called to plant a church – we are called to plant the Gospel by being present as Spirit-filled people. Don’t allow the weekly services and buildings to distract you from your day-to-day call to BE the Church – you have everything you need in Jesus!

Words by Brittany Stites

Keeping Life on Track (When it Feels So Off the Tracks) | Ariel Kuhn

    Today's blog post comes from my good friend Ariel. She's a newlywed and photographer and amazing woman of the Lord. Today she is sharing an important part of her story with us. Thank you for your wisdom, Ariel! 

~*~

    There are all kinds of books you can buy, articles you can read, and advice you can hear about how to deal with changes in life (no, I’m not talking about the “change is just around the corner” video you saw in health class…). How to adapt to moving away from friends and family, how to get used to being married, how to get out and meet new people, how to church hop ;) . But what happens when all of that, adding in a tendency toward introversion, takes place at once?? Well, in my case a mental explosion.

     I am a homebody. I went to college 45 minutes from my mom and stepdad's house in New York in a town that my dad and step mom live in and even commuted to my own church (which I love, like a lot) each Sunday – people wondered if I even went to college. The year after I graduated I lived at home, worked at a wonderful school where I already knew some staff, helped lead the youth and young adult groups at my church, hung out with my friends when I wanted to, saw my little sister when she came home from college, got to chat with my mom whenever a breakdown was coming, visited my dad at work,…everything was peachy.

     I had always imagined when I met the man I would marry, naturally he would follow me to my hometown and attend my church and fall in with my group of friends. We would live near my family (I mean, who wouldn't love my family?), I would get to keep my life...all with the added bonus of a husband. I imagined my life to be very neat, orderly, and even easy.

     Well, let me tell ya, my imagination didn't concoct the outcome where my boyfriend, Jon, and I break up in college, he moves to Ohio (who cares, right?), two years later we decide to date again, we do long distance, he proposes, we get married, I move to Ohio (oh, I guess now I should care) where I know no one, I look for a job and get welcomed into a church that hasn't known me since I was a kid, all while fighting my introvert nature to be perfectly content curled up at home for the next 5 years not speaking to anyone. That, my friends, was a lot for me to take in.

     Jon and I would talk about plans for where we were going to live once we got married, and I would literally cry when it got brought up because I knew I would be the one to move based on our circumstances. I would get overwhelmed and then we'd have to halt the conversation and he would wait another few weeks to bring it up again. Then we would start the cycle all over again.

     Maybe pathetic, but that's me - I like my routine and I like knowing what to expect and moving to a state that I couldn't even find on a map was definitely not routine and I absolutely didn't know what to expect. I was scared.

     And I'm not ashamed to say that 7 months later, I'm just now getting the hang of things. Which brings me to what I want to share (now that you understand my inner workings). In all that mess, my relationship with God took a backseat. I felt like I was holding on by a thread and thought if I even uttered a prayer, I would bawl my eyes out thinking about everything changing in my life.

     But I had one truth - God never changes. He is the vine and we are the branches (John 15:5). We can't go anywhere or do anything if we aren't connected to Him - and despite our schedules and busy thoughts - there has to be time for him or we start to whither. I was definitely feeling the withering. I started paying more attention and being more intentional about my days. I saw what steps I could take to make sure, in the craziness, I didn't forget or dismiss my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Here’s what He showed me:

1. Try to hear what He's telling you through the noise. 

He mixed up my world so I would learn to turn to Him and trust His plans above mine. I was so rooted in what I thought I wanted I wasn't open to anything else. I had to pay attention to see why I had to move and why everything in my life got flipped upside down.

2. Make yourself a schedule.

When I first moved, I didn't have a job and would let days pass where I didn't open my bible or try to be productive at all because "I didn't have to." Even if it's while eating breakfast, on your lunch break, or right before bed - having a scheduled devotion time (and great devotional - I recommend "The Daily God Book" by Erin Keeley Marshall) creates an expectation. It becomes easier to get back in the habit of spending time with God when you know there's an uninterrupted time designated for it.

3. Make an effort...at your pace, but make an effort. 

To some, it may not seem as though I moved fast enough into making friends or taking ownership of my new surroundings (still calling my mom's house "home" and the church I grew up in "my church"...actually, those things still may happen ; ) ) but at my own pace, I opened up to people I came to trust, found a job, and got acclimated to this new place. Making the effort is key, it's easy to sit back feeling sorry for yourself, but if you try - you'll be met halfway. God has favor waiting for you.

4. Have a rockin' husband.

I realize this isn't something everyone can check off their list, but my purpose in saying it is have someone who knows you well and who you can be completely open with. A best friend. Your momma. There were times Jon had to push me to attend our young adult group because I wouldn't want to go, or times I tried to do too much when he would tell me to calm down. Having someone to talk to about all the havoc in your life helps settle your thoughts.

5. Trust.

If you love God and you've devoted your life to Him, know He will take care of you and He has a plan. No matter your circumstance, He is there and He wants to hear your voice so don't stay quiet. See what He's showing you.

     I know it's been a long, hard journey for me to go through life being turned around every which way. But now with a clear head I can see I wouldn't have had to get out of my comfort zone had I stayed where I was and I have a feeling God needed me to. There's a lot I've learned about marriage and about my personality and about my maturity that's invaluable to me at this point. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wish I could go back a year and tell myself that moving isn't so bad, it'll take time, but there are doors to be opened there that can't be found anywhere else (I should hope myself would believe me, haha).

     I learned a lot, as cliché as it sounds. Mostly, I have learned to find the branch and cling - because that's where our nutrients come from, it's where the spring in our step comes from, and it's where life is given. That's where I want to be.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John‬ 15:5

The Order of Blessings | Victoria Myers

   Today's blog post comes from a lovely blogger named Victoria. This is her debut post on Joie Mag and we are lucky to have her be a contributing blogger in the future! Thank you Victoria for writing from your heart and speaking the truth about our identity in Christ.

~*~

   Getting married at 22 years old must have sounded a little scary some people in my life. Not necessarily to my closest family and friends-- they were gracious and supportive. Instead it seemed like classmates, the lady at the nail salon, online articles, the grocery store clerk, and select others wanted to advise me otherwise. They were worried about all sorts of things—that I wouldn’t ever get to travel, or do an internship, that I wouldn’t get to enjoy living alone, that 22 is just too young and that I was probably just getting married for the whole wedding ordeal and a happy ever after type of thing.

     It probably wasn’t until a few months into my marriage that I realized they were right. Or, actually that they could be right. Not about the traveling, the internship, or the living alone—but that they could be right that my heart is capable of simply wanting to get married just for the sake of the backyard wedding, a name change, and a happily-ever-after-be-forever-satisfied-type of thing. Throughout our engagement I became more aware of this temptation, I was caught up in the whirlwind of planning our wedding and supporting two friends with theirs and in the process I was falling more in love with marriage. Which is a beautiful process and I’m grateful for the ways God spoke to my heart through our engagement about what marriage is and how He designed it to be. Grateful that He reminded me that my heart is indeed capable of wanting the wedding and the happy marriage more than Him. That somehow everything between the proposal and the aisle could make me more satisfied than His grace. That all the life to come after the vows we would make could somehow redeem me more than the Cross.

     Like, I said God graciously revealed this to me throughout our engagement which helped me choose Him first. Of course I was a sinner when I planned our wedding, a sinner when I said “I do,” and still a sinner as I continue to live out life with my husband—and choosing God first will only be something I succeed in with the work of Christ in my life. Being aware of this danger that my own heart could hold, I intentionally entered into marriage with an understanding that it’s not created to fulfill me, it will eventually disappoint me, and that my husband’s and my brokenness are made one in the same only through Christ’s work on the Cross.

     This allowed the start of our marriage to be real, flawed, and truly joyful as we sought to understand that our sinfulness only pointed to God’s perfectness, and that our end only pointed to a God that is never ending.

     Fast forward a glimpse into our marriage—the wedding pictures are now posted on Facebook and the wedding band on my ring finger feels like it’s always been there. Husband and I start dreaming up future baby names. We plan out our first girl and brainstorm for the first boy, and I had then created a note in my phone with a running list of possible names and at least four typed out names that we will absolutely use no matter what our in laws or coworkers say. Then I realize, I knew where my heart was going. Yearning for something beyond the now. Desiring something that God has not yet willed to me only because my heart wants to believe that it might fulfill and complete me.

     Through these moments I realized, it’s not that wedding dresses and baby names are things we cannot choose. Rather, we must choose the primary blessing before the secondary. Choose our Creator before the wedding dress, and our Father before the baby names. Throughout our engagement I was aware of the temptation to find my identity in getting married and becoming a wife, and once dreaming up baby names for the future littles I was placing my identity in my hopeful days of motherhood. My heart was seeking these titles to fulfill me, to give me value and worth. What a gift it is that these titles are not my identity, that instead it’s Christ’s work that has made me pure, whole, and redeemed. That I am a daughter of the most High and a vessel for His grace and truth to those He brings into my life. Whether I am a wife or a mother, it is the source of our Primary blessing that is my sure foundation which lets me live out my identity in Him and experience the secondary blessings He ordains for my days.

     Whether we are in the midst of the season or seasons away from the reality—we should find our identity in the Primary blessing, the redemption we received from Christ on the Cross and the live that we may live as God has gone behind, before, and with us. It is through this that we may truly appreciate the fullness, nature, and timing of the secondary blessings; that we may come to know His design for the gifts He has willed to us, and the timing He has ordained into our days. Praise Him with me-- the God who has given us such sweet blessings to worship Him for and such sweet dreams to wait on Him for.

Written by Victoria Myers | Images by Anna Christine Photography

{Guest Post} Self Love - Laken Nix

We are so lucky to have the talented Laken Nix writing for us today! Thank you Laken! Read on for her story of self love. 

~*~

Truth be told, I’ve spent almost my entire life hating my body.  The desire to change it stretches so far back into my youth that I can’t even place exactly when it all started.  But I do remember being acutely aware of my size as early as 5th grade and going on my first “diet” soon after.  Since middle school, I’ve been obsessed with losing weight.  I’ve devoted myself to almost every weight loss program, I’ve given up entire food groups, I’ve read nearly every weight loss book, I’ve done all of the pills and the box cleanses.  I’ve turned weight loss into a mathematical equation, at one point only allowing myself to eat enough calories in a day to continue functioning.  I’ve obsessed over every tiny fluctuation on the scale, all the while feeling shame, disappointment and guilt that I just couldn’t get what I considered to be a small body.  

Nothing ever worked.  Or rather, nothing ever lasted.  I lost weight -- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot -- but it never stayed gone.  Without fail, the pounds came back and the compliments went away.  I’ve cried countless tears.  I’ve shaken my fist at God and endlessly questioned his motives.  Why give me these hips and this tummy?  Why not give me the discipline and self-control I need to get rid of these hips and this tummy?  Why make it so hard for me to be happy?  

While I never broke the cycle entirely, I started to feel some peace with my body when I started dating my boyfriend (now husband), Tyler.  It was the first time I felt truly and unconditionally loved no matter my size and I started to see myself through his eyes.  Embarrassed by my struggle with weight, I hid it from him, and discouraged with restricting myself, I stopped.  But throughout our dating relationship, I went from the smallest I had ever been to the largest.  In a stable and loving relationship, I was growing to hate myself and my body more than I ever had before.  

The desire to lose weight escalated when Tyler and I got engaged in August 2011.  The countdown to my wedding also became a countdown to when I needed to have the “perfect body.”  As I planned the details of our big day, I planned the details of how I was going to shed the pounds.  I dove full-force back into the calorie-restricting, binge-eating, self-destructive habits of my past because I couldn’t fathom walking down the aisle in this same ol’ body.  I was determined to feel comfortable in my skin, to look beautiful in my dress and to make my husband-to-be happy with his decision to marry me.  I was placing every ounce of my self-worth into what my body looked like on the outside and how many numbers showed up on the scale.  But no matter what I tried throughout our 14-month engagement, my weight more or less stayed the same and I got married in a body I felt ashamed of.

For a while, I couldn’t even stand to look at our wedding photos because all I could see was an uncomfortable girl in an unflattering dress.  But in the nearly two years since our wedding, I’ve had a little time to step back and reflect on where exactly my plan veered off course.  And you know, I haven’t been thinking about what I could’ve eaten differently or all of the times I could’ve exercised longer.  Rather, I think about why my weight and body image have such a strong pull on my heart that they can hang a cloud over my wedding day -- the beautiful day when I committed my entire life to the most amazing, dreamboat of a man.  Why have I convinced myself for years that I could make real and lasting changes in response to negativity and hatred?  Why have I created such a hostile environment and allowed my inner mean girl to become the dominant voice inside my head?  Looking back now, it feels silly to think I was trying so hard to create happiness and contentment out of such a black hole of negativity.      

Body image is something I think I will always struggle with to a degree and I definitely don’t know the end-all, be-all solution.  But I do know the starting place.  It’s silencing my inner mean girl and cultivating real self-love.  It’s believing that my body deserves love instead of hate, empowerment instead of criticism.  It’s creating an environment where I can thrive.  It’s showing my body love in real, tangible ways instead of just thinking it or saying it.  It’s appreciating my body instead of degrading it and it’s giving myself grace every minute of every day.  Most importantly, it’s about valuing this one body that God has entrusted me with and knowing that I’m meant to live life in this skin.    

Maybe this all sounds kind of woo-woo.  Maybe it’s a little too lovey-dovey and not practical enough.  I know I would have felt that way if I would have read these words a few years ago, when I was so desperately seeking a quick fix.  But once I started taking all of that heavy pressure off of myself and started focusing on loving my body as it was, I started losing weight.  I consistently lost weight without changing anything else I was doing (until I got pregnant and switched into “healthy weight gain” mode -- which is an entirely different story.)  Now I try every single day to practice the habit of self love and appreciation.  Some days are harder than others but learning to listen to what my body really wants is leaps and bounds better than counting calories, so I think I’ll stick with it.

Photos: Heather Hester

~*~

Laken is a writer and mentor living in the deep south of Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  She is passionate about making wellness a real and attainable thing in the lives of women -- in a non-preachy, totally-manageable, real-life kind of way.  Laken shares about real food and creating a good life at home over on her blog, Peach and Humble.  She is happily married to husband, Tyler, and they are expecting the arrival of their first little (a girl!) in October.

Raw & Real

Today we have a wonderful guest post by Brittany Stites, who also wrote for our first issue. We're so thankful  for her heart and words! We pray that this piece will encourage you in your every day life. 

~*~

Have you ever had one of those tough conversations, the kind you dread? The one you avoid at all costs for fear of spilling tears, accusing fingers, or personal faults being put on the table? The kind of discussion that is put off for days, even weeks, hoping it will change on its own? My husband and I recently had one of these conversations and I couldn’t wait to get past it. I just wanted to get to the moment were the burden was lifted and XO’s were given! But this was the first time I felt we had been defeated, like there was no answer to our issue. Like things would never change! All I wanted was a fresh breath of air; I needed to be free from the darkness I hid so well inside of me.

Just over a year ago we brought into this world a precious, beautiful baby girl. She had tiny hands, little toes, and a smile so large you couldn’t help but laugh and snap twenty-two photos on the spot (that just brings a warm ray of sunlight, doesn’t it?). But for me, she didn’t. I struggled finding any connection to this person who was my daughter. I tried so hard to make myself feel love for her, but nothing seemed to satisfy. I wanted to be a wife to my husband but failed so many times. I couldn’t connect. I didn’t even want to be with people. Everything I came across, even sharing conversations over a cup of coffee with a friend was a climb; like being in a dark hole and no matter how hard I tried or felt there was no substance to grab onto. I tried to except my reality, #momlife. I thought going to church and reading my Bible would help! That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Wrong! The following evening, while the house was quiet and dreams were being formed, I learned how wrong I really was.

Taking time with Jesus and allowing him to evaluate me has always seemed to be a good place to start. Not to mention he is very good at it and always gives the most grace and love, the kind I am unable to give. I was wrong and I had to repent.

“Lord, I have failed at being the daughter you have created me to be. Please forgive me. I have failed at being the wife my husband needs, and I am pretty sure I have failed at being the Mommy I am meant to be. How dare I think these things will fall into place without my full attention and effort?” –Journal Entry

Through Jesus’ embrace he refreshed my soul.

“God, thinking about our conversation (between my husband and I), looking back on life and finding bits of it, you have reminded me, showed me and encouraged me to be the person you have created me to be! An Encourager, Burden Bearer and Prayer Warrior.” –Journal Entry

I was at a point in my life where I continued to do and do and do, so that I could be. Instead of simply being whom God created me to be. I was so refreshed and the burden was gone! God had created me to be this amazing person who brings life to others through words and actions, who walks with those who can’t handle their junk on their own, and someone who prays (I mean really prays!). Not someone who just says “yes!” then forgets. I wasn’t doing any of these things, not for my husband, my family or anybody around me. The moment I began to walk out in who God created me to be was the moment I became free! I found my substance; Jesus. True genuine joy, no matter how exhausted I became or how many times I failed.

I challenge you! Living a life on auto pilot and just trying to make it through to the next best thing is a very dark place to be, I was there! But knowing, being, and acting out in the woman God created me to be has inspired a dramatic shift in how I now perceive life. I am not living to be like Jesus, but allowing him to be my hands and feet. Who has God created you to be? If you are unsure take some time to ask and reflect. What fuels you to give even more of yourself? What gives you genuine joy? Allow Jesus to evaluate you and your life, allow him to give you his grace and love that he so desperately wants to give! You are so loved, and you are so worth it!

If you need prayer or just want to talk don’t hesitate to contact me britstites[at]gmail.com

I may be loveless, but I'm definitely not dead.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on my personal blog (you can check it out here) on a subject very close to my heart: singleness. I'd like to reprise that this morning for y'all. Check out below what I believe so many single girls want to tell those of you who are happily dating, engaged or married. A little anecdote to start us off: 

Me, Sarah, and Imani at the wedding

My friend Imani recently traveled back to the States from the DR (where she is tirelessly and faithfully serving the Lord with Makarios International) for a wedding of a close friend of ours. We were both bridesmaids and had a fabulous weekend wine touring, catching up with old friends, making new friends, and talking about boys. We’re girls, after all. I had my eye on a cute one who got snatched from my grasp (I’m definitely giving myself too much credit) by an altogether too attractive bombshell at the reception. I certainly wasn’t devastated since I’d literally known the man for a day, but it was annoying regardless. In her sweet way of delivering pointed questions, Imani asked me a few days later how I was feeling about the whole situation. My partly authentic and partly sarcastic answer was the following: “Oh it’s okay. I literally knew him for 3 hours. My life will not end. I’ll be loveless but not dead. Haha.” Then we both proceeded to laugh about how that last phrase describes our lives up to this point perfectly. 

Cue the blog title! I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write about my lackluster love life. Really though, I think my comment has something genuine to say about those of us who continue to live the single life faithfully as unto the Lord. And I’m not going to rant on and on about this, but I think it’s worth saying. 

JUST BECAUSE I’M 24 YEARS OLD AND SINGLE DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME. It means that I have friends who are too attractive. I need new ones. Preferably plain ones who aren’t blonde or tall or human. (I’m kidding, don’t worry). Friends, I am loveless, but I am definitely not dead. My interpretation: just because I am single and ready to mingle yet mingling without success does not mean that I am failing at life. In fact, there are a lot of things happening in my life that I am excited about – they just don’t happen to be my engagement, my wedding or my future children. Those things are wonderful and I am more than happy to celebrate those things with my friends and family, but I am not deficient because they aren’t happening to me yet. 

I don’t want this to sound rude or overzealous. And I’m partly still trying to convince myself that everything I just wrote in that last paragraph is true. I wanted to write about this because it is a struggle in my life right now and one that I have to continually surrender to the Lord. I am learning to trust that my singleness has a purpose. I am beginning to trust that my life won’t be horrendous if God calls me to be single forever (even as I’m fervently praying that it isn’t the case). I am attempting to be content where I’ve been called and as I’ve been called. I want support. I want people to affirm my singleness rather than constantly inquire as to whether I’ve remedied my unfortunate circumstance of aloneness. I want to see and hear and taste more of the Lord in this season of my life so as to be fully prepared when He calls me out of it. 

I hope that all you single ladies out there live it up like Beyonce are encouraged that your life is not defined by your relationship status. God has plans for you which may or may not include marriage. Either way, His plans are good and He loves you. That is enough for me. And I hope it is enough for you. Be joyful today in His love! 

<3 sarah elyse

{Colossians 4:6}

Getting honest here. Yesterday morning was not a graceful morning for me. My words were not nice. They were sharp and judging. They were just plain mean. When I picked up my Bible, Colossians 4:6 was the first verse I read, and it was a very humbling wake-up call. I immediately texted my husband and asked for forgiveness, which he willingly gave.

There are so many verses in the Bible about how words either speak life or speak destruction. And after yesterday, I get it. It's so true that what we say directly effects who we are talking to - or talking about. Let's let this Bible verse be a reminder to us all to think before we speak, and let our words be filled with grace.

~ Stephanie

To download this computer background, first click HERE (it goes to our Flickr account), then find the three little dots on the left. Click those and choose 'download all sizes'. Then choose 'large'. Then click 'download'!

Thrift Shopping Tidbits

My husband and I love to go thrift shopping. I find it thrilling to discover those unique pieces to add to my home décor. Although, thrifting sounds pretty simple, there are a few ways to make your trip even more successful. Here are some thrift shopping tidbits to start you on your own adventures.

#1 Location, Location, Location

More often that not, you are going to find the best pieces (be it household décor or clothing) in the “better parts of town.” Check out the thrift and consignment stores in the middle to upper class areas; often items brought here are in better condition and are less picked over.

#2 Go A Lot!

It may seem a little monotonous, but make sure to frequent the stores on a weekly basis. Stores are constantly receiving new inventory unfortunately it leaves just as fast as it comes.

#3 Learn Your Store’s Schedule

Employees can tell you what days of the week the accept donations and how long it usually takes them to get those items on the shelves. They can also tell you what days of the week are the sales.

#4 Use the Internet

It seems pretty obvious, but if you want to make sure you are getting a good deal, check online. Not very often, but sometimes items are found cheaper on sites like eBay.

#5 Don’t Forget to Check Out New Stores

My husband and I love checking out new stores on vacation or while visiting other areas of New England. Finding new stores with a high volume and variety gives you a thrifting thrill like no other. Make sure you don’t pass the chance up!

I hope these five simple tidbits can keep you on track next time you go to your local store! Don’t forget to have fun and happy thrifting!

~Taryn

May Scripture Challenge (#lampandlight)

It's never a bad thing to challenge yourself to read your Bible more, right? We all have those days where it just doesn't happen. But when a community of women from all around the country come together and pledge to read their Bibles together for 31 days, it might make it easier!

Starting on May 1st, we'll join Kristin Nicole and a whole group of women and read our Bibles everyday of May. After your devotional time, snap a picture, post on Instagram (tag it #lampandlight) and write a little bit about what God taught you that day. It'll be a challenge. But it will be so worth it, don't you think?

"The more I seek You, the more I find You." A Kari Jobe song that has always challenged my heart. The more we read God's word, the more He reveals to us. And the more we get to know Him. And THAT is definitely not a bad thing!

We hope you'll take part!

(photo by kristin nicole)

He Cares {Devotional}

We all know that God is a strong and powerful God. He rules over all the nations, and power and might are in His hand (2 Chronicles 20:6). He always knows what is going on. Anything is possible through Him (Matthew 19:26).

But what about the other side of God? His gentle side. His caring side.
Like a sweet friend, God cares for you. He wants to know your worries, and he wants to help you through them. He is always looking for ways to take care of you! 

Don't be ashamed to cry out your troubles to the strong and mighty God of the universe, the God who also wants to make sure you have everything you need. He takes care of the birds of the sky, you know. Do you believe he will take care of you? (hint: you should :) )

~*~

Enjoy this fresh spring day, friends! 
~Joie Mag team

Your Vows. Your Promises.

Hi friends! Today we have a special guest post for you! Pastor Max Marcoux, lead pastor at Elevation Chapel in Newton, MA, is sharing his perspective on Wedding Vows. Having preformed many, many weddings, he has a few ideas and a great reminder. Read on! 

~*~

Have any of you purchased a home? Well if not, get ready for mountains of paperwork! You will be asked to sign over 20 pages, vowing that you will pay for that house. Not too long ago (in the 1960’s) my grandfather bought a building on a vow and a handshake. He made a promise to pay so much a month until it was paid off. And he followed through. His word probably had more weight than any 20-page contract today. Back then, your word, your vow meant everything. 

To me the most beautiful part of a wedding is not the flowers, the pretty dresses, nice music or decorations. It’s the exchange of vows. I performed a wedding ceremony a few weeks ago and the bride wrote her own vows. They were so powerful and filled with love that everyone was emotional and the groom almost couldn’t hold it together. I think her vows were the most thoughtful and loving words anyone had ever spoken to him. 

Many couples choose traditional wedding vows, and those are beautiful too. “I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.” That still brings tears and deep emotion to couples as they recite them because they truly mean what they are saying.

More and more couples these days are choosing non-traditional vows. I have attended and officiated weddings where the couple chose song lyrics as vows. One couple chose an excerpt from “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Suess! There are so many resources for couples to find non-traditional vows that reflect their personality.

Engaged couples often ask me if it’s better to write their own vows or to use traditional ones. My advice is to them (and you) is this: Your wedding vows are not just an expression of how you feel about your fiancé. The words you choose should be a life-long promise from your heart to theirs; not only a statement of how much you love them now, but a commitment of how you will love them from this point on. 

Value whatever vows you will speak on your wedding day more than any of the other details of the wedding. The food will be eaten, the flowers will be tossed out, dresses packed away, but the vows will live in your hearts forever.

~*~

We hope this inspires you if you're stuck on what to say in your wedding vows! And remember, they don't have to be fancy or eloquent. 

Thanks for writing this awesome post, Max!