{News}

I know it's been a long time coming for a new blog post around these parts! The team at Joie Mag has been discussing and praying about the future of Joie Mag. Because of new jobs, new family members and new life goals, we've decided that it is best for us not to publish any more magazine issues of Joie. We are sad for this change, but very grateful for the time we had to write the blog and magazine, and collaborate with some amazing women. Thanks for being with us on this journey.

4 Creative Wedding Gifts

For a lot of engaged couples, it seems like one of the most anticipated part of the wedding planning process is registering for things you'll need to start a new life together. Aka: wedding gifts! My husband and I went through the registering process, which, admittedly was really fun for him and overwhelming for me, ha! We picked out all the practical kitchen appliances, home goods and other odds and ends that we thought we might need. And luckily, we received most of the things we registered for as gifts, which was a huge blessing to our newly married life. 

Now, as helpful and practical as those registered gifts were, there were some gifts that stood out particularly because they were so different and creative compared to the store bought gifts. I wanted to share some of those ideas, along with others, so that you'll be able to give these fun gifts to your friends when they get married! 

Garden Starter - Help your friends get a head start on their indoor or small patio garden!
- potting soil + assorted pot sizes
- a variety of flower, herbs and veggie seeds
- a hand shovel and rake
- a vintage watering can
- gardening gloves

Tea Set - A romantic gift for the tea or coffee lovers in your life
- two unique mugs
- a serving tea pot

- a pretty platter (DIY it!)

- a variety of teas + coffees

- biscuit or scone baking mix

Italian Date Night Basket - A special dinner for two, all in one basket

- a big basket

- two kinds of pasta 

- two kinds of sauce 

- a nice bottle of wine 

- a gift certificate to their local bakery to buy fresh loaf of bread

Fun + Games - Bringing it back to the good ol' days with some childhood fun!
- a board game (or two!) from childhood
- variety of penny/movie candies
- a DVD set of their favorite cartoons 

- bubbles and/or sidewalk chalk 

{Allow Time for Spontaneity}

My husband and I just celebrated our third year of marriage (yay!). We've learned a lot this year as a couple, but I want to share one of my favorite and most practical lessons. This is something we have learned only in the last couple months: to not plan every single minute of our days. We learned to allow time for spontaneous adventures (or relaxing afternoons, because you never know what you'll need!) and it's really been a game changer for our relationship and happiness. 

Take Sundays for instance: a day when, usually, we go to church and already have plans to hang out with friends or family afterward. Then it's a trip to the grocery store and an evening of chores (or maybe I catch up on a little work). It's very planned, and although helpful and productive, it's the same. Every Sunday. 

One Sunday after church, we decided to do nothing and see where the day took us. We went to get coffee and decided right then and there to go on a two mile walk around a nearby lake - just because we could! We had time! We didn’t have anything else planned! (Fun fact: this was the very day we learned this lesson!) Guess what, it was my favorite day of that month. I remember it vividly. I remember what we talked about and what the weather felt like. It was like we reset our weekend and really took in all the goodness. Because we had time to.


So friends, plan time to be spontaneous. It’s good for your heart. 

- Stephanie

{Step Toward Your Dream} Ariel Kuhn

“The size of the dream isn’t what matters. I believe everyone has God-sized dreams. It’s not about how big or small they are, because he creates each one to perfectly fit your heart. Your dream might be to move across the world and start a nonprofit organization that cares for orphans – what looks like a grand adventure in the world’s eyes. Or your dream might be to stay right in your small town and raise your kids so they grow into strong men and women – what looks like something fairly ordinary in the world’s eyes. Both matter equally, both are God-sized dreams. It’s not about what you do as much as how you do it. It’s about pursuing life with passion and purpose and going with God wherever he leads. It’s about not settling. It’s about tenaciously believing you’re made for more.” -You’re Made For a God-Sized Dream, Holley Gerth

Does that quote strike a nerve in you?  I had to ask what it meant to me. What kind of dreams do I have, what kind of life do I want to lead? If I look back through my old journals, over and over again I said I want to be married – that was my biggest dream. But I also (very tentatively) would have said I want to be a photographer. While I’m at it – I want to be a writer, a good friend, well-dressed, a speaker, a teacher, a tea-drinker (I try so hard to like it, but I just don’t), a painter, a photographer, an avid reader. Can all of those count as dreams? Yes. Do I have to choose one? No.

In my experience, as long as you are willing to knock and have an earnest heart, God will be there to open a door. I went from a dazed college student not knowing what I wanted to do, to being married and starting a business and I can say with absolute certainty it looked nothing like I thought it would. Dreams have a way of winding around and around, but one day you look up and realize the small steps and the perseverance got you to a place better than you could have pictured a year, 5 years, 10 years ago. Here are some practical steps you can take -

#1: Take 10 minutes and think.

Think and don’t interrupt yourself with thoughts of what you could be doing, what you have to do tomorrow, or what strange noise is coming from your engine. Think about your dreams. Big or small. For you or others. Need help thinking of some? Pray about it. Pray about your strengths. Ask close friends. What do you love to do? What energizes you? What makes you feel like you’re doing something worthwhile?

#2: Write them down.

Whatever it is – silly sounding, huge, small (God can make incredible things from what we dismiss), impossible…write it down. You could make a dream board – a cork board with pictures cluttered on it; magazine and personal pictures that depict what your dreams are – big or small. Make the board, put it somewhere you will see it often, and challenge yourself every day to do something to get closer to one thing on there. Simple or complex. Easy or hard.

#3: Tell someone.

After you’re thought about, written down, and/or made a board about what you may want to do or get better at – tell someone. Surround yourself with the people who believe in your dreams. Encouragement from others is huge, and they can keep you on track.

#4: Find someone already doing it.

How valuable in my life have I found people who have walked a path before me and are willing to share their experience? It’s absolutely priceless. If you want to be a mom/photographer/blogger, then find someone already doing that. If you want to be a personal trainer/watercolor artist/triathlete, I’m sure you can find someone that is already on that mission. If you want to be an astronaut/foster mom/doctor/dog walker…well, I’m sure you can find someone doing at least one of those things. Just find someone willing to invest in you and it’ll be worth the step out to ask.

#5: It’s scary, but don’t be afraid.

People fail. It’s a way of life – we aren’t perfect, therefore why should we expect ourselves to be? Jump in. Some dreams aren’t for right now, so be patient. However, there are some that are for now but in your mind “it still isn’t the right time” because you may be scared.

Jasmine Star, a photographer & blogger, said to ask yourself – what’s the worst thing that could happen if this doesn’t work? If you’re okay with that worst case scenario, then what do you have to lose?

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

words by Ariel Kuhn

{Like-Minded Community}

"Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25

Over the last month or so, God has very clearly reminded me that we need to be in community with like-minded people. He has reminded me in a variety of ways, most recently, though, in the form of a couple of friends stepping up their prayer and marriage examples for Nate and I.

If you have these types of friends, hold on tight. Cherish them. These are the friends with whom we should want to spend most of our time. The friends who are truthful, kind, loving, and unashamed of the Gospel. This is not to say that we can't be witnesses of God's love to other friends who need Him. What I'm talking about right now is the people who we see most often and the people with whom we form bonds should have similar beliefs and mindsets on God, life and family.

Us humans are easily influenced, this isn't news. Whatever we spend our time doing (or who we spend it WITH) comes through in our personalities and our attitudes. And we want to be like Christ, right? Well, we need help with that, and God gave us friends.

Here are some ideas about the people with whom we should want to be spending our time, and the type of friend we should want to be: (and you can vice-versa all these phrases):

Surround yourself with friends who aren't afraid of give-and-take.
Be the friend who makes people feel comfortable about sharing their stories.
Surround yourself with friends who make you want to be a better person.
Be the friend who listens intently.
Surround yourself with friends with whom you can discuss the tough questions.
Be the friend who invites people over and doesn't mind if they stay until midnight.
Surround yourself with friends who teach you and lift you up.
Be the friend who gives generously.

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:15

-Stephanie

{Pre-Wedding Pep Talk}

I know many couples getting married this summer and fall. Hoards of wedding advice and marriage tips are probably being tossed your way right about now, between bridal showers and in-laws and church friends and wedding blogs. I am sure most of the advice is valid, but remember that each marriage, each couple, each LIFE is very, very different. So instead of being overwhelmed (or thinking "Wow, I need to apply every piece of advice to my life RIGHT NOW") thank each person for their thoughts and tuck it away for when you really need it. 

That being said, I wanted to share a Bible verse that is really important to me and my husband. Think of this as a little pep-talk. Ephesians 4:2 - "Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults because of your love." It's hard to always live like that, but remember that the Word of God is true and it keeps us in check with where our hearts are. Marriage is a balance of giving. You give your love, your time, and encouragement. And it might seem like a lot, but if you are each giving each other equal amounts of everything, you'll both be getting just what you need! 

<3 Stephanie

{I Know that “I Know,” but really I don’t..} Brittany Stites

...because if I did, I wouldn’t have needed to be reminded.

__

     Have you ever had those moments where the stress is crushing and the anxiety clouds your brain like a thick fog? So many pressures, thoughts and emotions all at once! And all you want to do is crawl into a deep dark hole where nobody can find you, not even your own thoughts?  This is me more often than I would like to admit, being controlled by the fruitless things around me instead of allowing Jesus’ peace to fill me.
     What usually brings me from my state of selfishness are simple words from others. Words that I would have known and even said to somebody else in their own time of distress. But when the waves are rolling in, pounding my body to limpness, I so easily forget and am in need of a loving and graceful reminder.
     The first starts with a ring on my finger and my Mom. It was a bright and beautiful day, I was 19 (I know, so young!) and I was home for the summer from school. But first let’s take a look two years prior. This really amazing and handsome guy finally asked me to be his girl! And from that moment on I knew we would be together forever.  Jokingly, we had discussed that within two years’ time we would be engaged. Well, those two years had passed and we were thinking we were about ready.
     Now let’s get back to that beautiful summer’s day. My mom and I had struck up a small conversation about marriage and the words “You have to give your Dad and I at least a year’s notice.” came confidently from my mother’s mouth. I freaked. What was a girl to do? I was planning on a 3 month engagement! So with a bit of sass, I quickly responded, “Well then! Here it is! Plan on next summer!”

     With much grace my mom said, “Brittany, you must have a ring on that finger when you tell us.” (Are you kidding me! Engaged for a whole year!!! How is a young couple going to even survive 3 months!) I panicked, the fog rolled in and all I wanted to do was scream! After a ton of push back the tears began to flow; how would we beat temptation knowing we were to be married? Then I was reminded. “It’s going to be okay.” (Mom, you’re the best!) These words; so simple and small, made a world of a difference in a nervous and scared 19 year old girl. Within seconds Jesus filled me with peace. We could do it!
     The second, a fight with my husband and a choice to never look back. I believe my husband and I fight in one of the worst ways. When one of us gets frustrated with the other our initial response is to shut down, becoming tensely quiet with only sarcastic remarks to cut the silence. This will continue to happen, getting worse by the minute until either something is said or tears (usually mine) are shed.      With this in mind let’s take it back to Christmas Eve 2014 (yep, four and a half months ago). There had been a lot of pressure, stress and anxiety piling up for about three months as we were in transition of moving to Oakland, currently living at my in-laws’ house, with a job that paid less than half of our bills. And it didn’t help when I chose to throw around my frustration in regards to the fact that Christmas Eve wasn’t what I wanted or expected. We eventually found time to ourselves in a place where we were able to openly communicate, forgive, and verbally express our love for one another. Shortly after, my husband grabs hold of me, looks deep into my eyes and says, “I am so thankful for these moments. I hate them, but I am so thankful because we get to display the Gospel to each other by forgiving and giving grace.” (I know, wow!) I haven’t looked back; every time my husband and I sin against each other we get the opportunity to forgive, love and give grace.
     In the third recent memory, something was wrong with my daughter (and we don’t have health insurance!) My whole life I have had the luxury of being able to directly communicate with my doctor or make an appointment anytime I wanted. But 3 weeks ago something was wrong with my daughter and I no longer had that luxury. I didn’t even know if we had health insurance or how it worked if we did. I was at a loss and my daughter needed something I couldn’t give her. I was full of fear, trying to keep my cool and scared to death for her. Then my husband reminded me, “Babe, remember she is God’s daughter first and we have the privilege of borrowing her.” I needed these words. Every day we tell Summer “I love you, and Jesus loves you even more.” But in that moment of feeling helpless I needed to be reminded that God loves her and will take care of her far better than I ever could and I am blessed to borrow her for the time being no matter how long or short it may be.
   

     As women, we’ve come to learn a lot through the unlimited resources of this day in age, as well as through our own life experiences. Yet, sometimes we become so clouded by stress and pride that we forget the very things that have been embedded in our hearts. I urge you, when somebody you respect speaks to you with grace and love, grab hold of every word and allow Jesus to work it within you. You will be amazed at the peace and clarity he will give you even when you are in your deep and dark hole.

*We were able to see a doctor the following morning and get tests/ results back within one week; everything came up clear!

words by Brittany Stites

Thursday Round-Up: How I Sing My Worship

     By this point in my life, it shouldn't be surprising to me that my most intimate moments with God always fall in conjunction with music. I've fueled a passion for singing for years and years, and now make a living leading music for the local church. A deep love for music inhabits my soul and yet I can find myself at times dissatisfied with the offerings of the pop-Christian music industry. Confession: I don't always love the newest Chris Tomlin track or the latest Hillsong album. Gasp! Does their music proclaim truth? Yes. Does it honor God? Yes. Does it at times sound formulaic and repetitive? Oh yes. Obviously what's most important are the first two questions, right? I totally agree. But there are times, in my own personal worship and when planning services for the church, when I'm left wanting more than synth-heavy, sing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs, overly-climactic bridge type songs. Sometimes, I want something quieter. Possibly something less emotionally charged. Maybe even a fresh arrangement of an old hymn. 

     Of course, there are endless ways to worship the Lord through song and there isn't one right way to do it. Chris Tomlin and Hillsong have given us an incredible worship music repertoire that is going to bless future generations forever, and I am extraordinarily grateful for the way God is using them to honor Him. Today though, I'd love to leave you with some incredible worship songs that aren't necessarily fitting into the CCM mold. I hope these are refreshing for you and bring you close to the God who is worthy of all our praise. 

1. Only Name - We the Union

2. Blessed Assurance - Elevation Worship

(Granted, this has an epic bridge, but the fresh rendition of the beloved hymn is beautiful.)

3. Though You Slay Me - Shane and Shane

(An incredible song to teach a congregation in response to tragedy and suffering.)

4. Run To You - The Ember Days

5. Tis So Sweet - Jadon Lavik

6. Out of Hiding - Steffany Gretzinger

(This. Don't just listen to it once. It's life-changing, friends.) 

     These 6 songs are just a snippet of the music that's constantly being created out of love for God. You can check out the albums associated with each song to see the beauty these artists have produced as a reflection of God's grace. For some equally amazing (but notably less congregational) music, check out Josh Garrels, Andrew Ripp, Audrey Assad, and Shawn McDonald. 

Happy music listening to y'all!

~ Sarah Elyse

I Will Give You Rest {Devotional}

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I know many of us have heard this verse or parts of it many times, usually when life gets busy or things seem impossibly hectic. This past weekend, I was visiting my home church and during worship, the theme seemed to revolve around needing rest. Matthew 11:28-30 was shared and it was a fresh reminder for me that each day we are supposed to need God, it’s not expected that as we mature in our relationship with Christ we need Him less. In fact, the opposite is true.

As I mature in my walk with God, I see more and more how dependent I must be on Him. And when I’m dependent, it’s as if I am taking His yoke, letting Him carry my burdens, and allowing Him to give me rest. That's what he wants.

On the long drive home, I heard the song “I’ll Keep On” and the words hit me –

Faith is something I am not accustomed to
Trusting other people’s something I don't really love to do
It's like I'm standing in the rain and You offer me a raincoat
But I would rather stand there being wet than take the handout

Why don’t we let God give us rest from the things that toil in our minds? Is it that we don’t fully trust Him? Is it that we just aren’t used to having someone to rely on? Is it that we don’t actually believe God when He says he wants to relieve us of our burdens?

He loves us and cares for us more than we know and he wants us to come to Him; it is how he designed us – to need Him. So, let Him have everything weighing you down... He can handle it.



~ words by Ariel Kuhn

{6 Reasons to do a First Look}

The First Look is a wonderful time when the bride + groom see each other before their ceremony. While I completely understand if people choose to travel the ‘traditional’ route, I am so in love with this idea. 

My husband and I did a First Look and it is still the {reason number one} most memorable moment of our wedding day for me. To have that special time, {reason number two} just the two of you, is something you’ll never forget!

The quiet few moments to say hi and pray together will provide {reason number three} peace of mind. It gives you both time to really take each other in and enjoy each other before the craziness of the day begins.

It also allows you {reason number four} get some of the photography “formalities” out of the way. Which ultimately means, {reason number five} more time to party later!

Oh yeah, and grooms? {reason number six} You’ll still cry when your bride walks down the aisle. Promise.

<3 Stephanie

image: stephanie rita photo

All Things Made New {Devo}

Revelation 21:1-5

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 

     When the flowers bloom and the trees bud and the chill of winter loses its sting, I am reminded that our home here in this broken world is a temporary one. Because God is making things new and alive again for a season as a precursor to the grand remaking of the earth that is to come. Our temporary renewal brings temporary life. The ultimate renewal promises life forever remade and brokenness eternally banished. We will be his people, and he will be our God. FOREVER. This truth brings me joy; incredible, life-giving, worship-inducing joy. Make us new, God! 

~ Sarah Elyse 

Our Oakland Adventure | Brittany Stites

Today we have a guest post by Brittany Stites, who is sharing about her and her husband's journey of planting a new church in California. God has taught them a few lessons along the way, so read on! Thanks Brittany!

My husband, a pastor, and I came from an amazing church in small town Martinez, California. (You know it's a small town when they shut down Main Street for the annual Homecoming Parade!) In October 2014 we were graciously sent out to plant a church. Now we live in Oakland, an awesome urban area, full of culture, color, creativity. I couldn’t be more convinced that we were created to live in this sort of setting! It has been a short 3 months since we moved here and I couldn’t feel more at home. I am seriously IN LOVE!!!!! And every day my love grows deeper and wider for this city. I am literally bursting with adrenaline as I sit and type, wishing you could see my excitement! I think I could run about 5 miles right now!!! Okay, so I think you know I am overflowing with joy to share some of our adventure! 

Making the decision to “Church Plant” was a no brainer for us. It has been in the works for almost 7 years - starting with a passion planted in my husband’s heart during college. As we dug deep through the pages of the Gospels and Acts, our hearts grew with a love and excitement. Now being able to actually live out what we day-dreamed about is absolutely and positively the most joyous and wonderful thing we could be doing in this world.

Now with all the rainbows, glitter and unicorns that planting brings, this has been by far the hardest and most challenging season in our life (and it’s just the beginning). But thank you Jesus for working in and through us to bring you glory! With every tear, frustration, and moments of being stretched and having no answers, Jesus has carried us through it all. We couldn’t be more thankful for the hard stuff, without which we wouldn’t be growing or looking to Him. Even though the learning process is hard and seems as if we will never understand, there is always (usually) that moment when the light bulb begins to glow – and it is beautiful.

When we began the official process of our adventure, we sat down with our mentors. As I talked, the words “I hate the church” spouted from my mouth. Later our mentors graciously responded with, “Brittany, we want you to love Jesus’ Church, the Church is beautiful and Jesus is patiently waiting for the day when He gets to be reunited with His Bride.” As they said this I realized I used the wrong language and furthermore I didn’t hate people. What I did have was a strong dislike for Sunday Services, the building, and all the stress and anxiety that those brought me. I have learned the power and importance of language. Yes, these are simply words, but the more you hear and use words the more a belief is formed from them. Example: if a person is told they are ugly and continues to say it to themselves, they will soon believe they are hideous and not even worth to be looked at.

The word “Church” means something a lot different than what a majority of people think of when they hear the word. It is not a place or a building, an event or a program. It is you and me and everybody who believes in Jesus and is filled with His Spirit. WE ARE THE CHURCH! PEOPLE! I am the Church when my daughter wakes up an hour early and I don’t get time to myself, but I get to show her grace and love and begin to build her character and teach her about Jesus. I am the Church when I have to apologize to my husband for disrespecting him. And he is The Church when he gives me grace and forgiveness! This is a very beautiful thing! But when we associate church with a few hours a week or a location, even subconsciously, we forget that the Church is a body – not a building.

We have chosen to use the word gathering, rather than church, to describe what we do each week. We see the Church as a family that comes together to celebrate, learn and worship – not simply as an event / building we attend. This simple word change in my everyday language has begun to change my perspective of the Church is – and my love for people has grown tremendously. My husband and I have taken a different approach to “Church Planting” then what we originally thought we would take. We didn’t move to Oakland with a large group of people, a building, worship pastor, children’s department, hospitality team, and service flow. We moved to Oakland with a missionary perspective. A missionary doesn’t immediately build a building then begin preaching and teaching to its congregation. They first get to know the culture and its belief. They learn what they celebrate, how they have fun and what they struggle with. A missionary begins to build strong friendships with neighbors and finds connections with others in their city. They take part of things that are already up and happening instead of starting their own thing, all the while being the hands and feet

All in all we are not called to plant a church – we are called to plant the Gospel by being present as Spirit-filled people. Don’t allow the weekly services and buildings to distract you from your day-to-day call to BE the Church – you have everything you need in Jesus!

Words by Brittany Stites

Keeping Life on Track (When it Feels So Off the Tracks) | Ariel Kuhn

    Today's blog post comes from my good friend Ariel. She's a newlywed and photographer and amazing woman of the Lord. Today she is sharing an important part of her story with us. Thank you for your wisdom, Ariel! 

~*~

    There are all kinds of books you can buy, articles you can read, and advice you can hear about how to deal with changes in life (no, I’m not talking about the “change is just around the corner” video you saw in health class…). How to adapt to moving away from friends and family, how to get used to being married, how to get out and meet new people, how to church hop ;) . But what happens when all of that, adding in a tendency toward introversion, takes place at once?? Well, in my case a mental explosion.

     I am a homebody. I went to college 45 minutes from my mom and stepdad's house in New York in a town that my dad and step mom live in and even commuted to my own church (which I love, like a lot) each Sunday – people wondered if I even went to college. The year after I graduated I lived at home, worked at a wonderful school where I already knew some staff, helped lead the youth and young adult groups at my church, hung out with my friends when I wanted to, saw my little sister when she came home from college, got to chat with my mom whenever a breakdown was coming, visited my dad at work,…everything was peachy.

     I had always imagined when I met the man I would marry, naturally he would follow me to my hometown and attend my church and fall in with my group of friends. We would live near my family (I mean, who wouldn't love my family?), I would get to keep my life...all with the added bonus of a husband. I imagined my life to be very neat, orderly, and even easy.

     Well, let me tell ya, my imagination didn't concoct the outcome where my boyfriend, Jon, and I break up in college, he moves to Ohio (who cares, right?), two years later we decide to date again, we do long distance, he proposes, we get married, I move to Ohio (oh, I guess now I should care) where I know no one, I look for a job and get welcomed into a church that hasn't known me since I was a kid, all while fighting my introvert nature to be perfectly content curled up at home for the next 5 years not speaking to anyone. That, my friends, was a lot for me to take in.

     Jon and I would talk about plans for where we were going to live once we got married, and I would literally cry when it got brought up because I knew I would be the one to move based on our circumstances. I would get overwhelmed and then we'd have to halt the conversation and he would wait another few weeks to bring it up again. Then we would start the cycle all over again.

     Maybe pathetic, but that's me - I like my routine and I like knowing what to expect and moving to a state that I couldn't even find on a map was definitely not routine and I absolutely didn't know what to expect. I was scared.

     And I'm not ashamed to say that 7 months later, I'm just now getting the hang of things. Which brings me to what I want to share (now that you understand my inner workings). In all that mess, my relationship with God took a backseat. I felt like I was holding on by a thread and thought if I even uttered a prayer, I would bawl my eyes out thinking about everything changing in my life.

     But I had one truth - God never changes. He is the vine and we are the branches (John 15:5). We can't go anywhere or do anything if we aren't connected to Him - and despite our schedules and busy thoughts - there has to be time for him or we start to whither. I was definitely feeling the withering. I started paying more attention and being more intentional about my days. I saw what steps I could take to make sure, in the craziness, I didn't forget or dismiss my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Here’s what He showed me:

1. Try to hear what He's telling you through the noise. 

He mixed up my world so I would learn to turn to Him and trust His plans above mine. I was so rooted in what I thought I wanted I wasn't open to anything else. I had to pay attention to see why I had to move and why everything in my life got flipped upside down.

2. Make yourself a schedule.

When I first moved, I didn't have a job and would let days pass where I didn't open my bible or try to be productive at all because "I didn't have to." Even if it's while eating breakfast, on your lunch break, or right before bed - having a scheduled devotion time (and great devotional - I recommend "The Daily God Book" by Erin Keeley Marshall) creates an expectation. It becomes easier to get back in the habit of spending time with God when you know there's an uninterrupted time designated for it.

3. Make an effort...at your pace, but make an effort. 

To some, it may not seem as though I moved fast enough into making friends or taking ownership of my new surroundings (still calling my mom's house "home" and the church I grew up in "my church"...actually, those things still may happen ; ) ) but at my own pace, I opened up to people I came to trust, found a job, and got acclimated to this new place. Making the effort is key, it's easy to sit back feeling sorry for yourself, but if you try - you'll be met halfway. God has favor waiting for you.

4. Have a rockin' husband.

I realize this isn't something everyone can check off their list, but my purpose in saying it is have someone who knows you well and who you can be completely open with. A best friend. Your momma. There were times Jon had to push me to attend our young adult group because I wouldn't want to go, or times I tried to do too much when he would tell me to calm down. Having someone to talk to about all the havoc in your life helps settle your thoughts.

5. Trust.

If you love God and you've devoted your life to Him, know He will take care of you and He has a plan. No matter your circumstance, He is there and He wants to hear your voice so don't stay quiet. See what He's showing you.

     I know it's been a long, hard journey for me to go through life being turned around every which way. But now with a clear head I can see I wouldn't have had to get out of my comfort zone had I stayed where I was and I have a feeling God needed me to. There's a lot I've learned about marriage and about my personality and about my maturity that's invaluable to me at this point. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wish I could go back a year and tell myself that moving isn't so bad, it'll take time, but there are doors to be opened there that can't be found anywhere else (I should hope myself would believe me, haha).

     I learned a lot, as cliché as it sounds. Mostly, I have learned to find the branch and cling - because that's where our nutrients come from, it's where the spring in our step comes from, and it's where life is given. That's where I want to be.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John‬ 15:5

The Order of Blessings | Victoria Myers

   Today's blog post comes from a lovely blogger named Victoria. This is her debut post on Joie Mag and we are lucky to have her be a contributing blogger in the future! Thank you Victoria for writing from your heart and speaking the truth about our identity in Christ.

~*~

   Getting married at 22 years old must have sounded a little scary some people in my life. Not necessarily to my closest family and friends-- they were gracious and supportive. Instead it seemed like classmates, the lady at the nail salon, online articles, the grocery store clerk, and select others wanted to advise me otherwise. They were worried about all sorts of things—that I wouldn’t ever get to travel, or do an internship, that I wouldn’t get to enjoy living alone, that 22 is just too young and that I was probably just getting married for the whole wedding ordeal and a happy ever after type of thing.

     It probably wasn’t until a few months into my marriage that I realized they were right. Or, actually that they could be right. Not about the traveling, the internship, or the living alone—but that they could be right that my heart is capable of simply wanting to get married just for the sake of the backyard wedding, a name change, and a happily-ever-after-be-forever-satisfied-type of thing. Throughout our engagement I became more aware of this temptation, I was caught up in the whirlwind of planning our wedding and supporting two friends with theirs and in the process I was falling more in love with marriage. Which is a beautiful process and I’m grateful for the ways God spoke to my heart through our engagement about what marriage is and how He designed it to be. Grateful that He reminded me that my heart is indeed capable of wanting the wedding and the happy marriage more than Him. That somehow everything between the proposal and the aisle could make me more satisfied than His grace. That all the life to come after the vows we would make could somehow redeem me more than the Cross.

     Like, I said God graciously revealed this to me throughout our engagement which helped me choose Him first. Of course I was a sinner when I planned our wedding, a sinner when I said “I do,” and still a sinner as I continue to live out life with my husband—and choosing God first will only be something I succeed in with the work of Christ in my life. Being aware of this danger that my own heart could hold, I intentionally entered into marriage with an understanding that it’s not created to fulfill me, it will eventually disappoint me, and that my husband’s and my brokenness are made one in the same only through Christ’s work on the Cross.

     This allowed the start of our marriage to be real, flawed, and truly joyful as we sought to understand that our sinfulness only pointed to God’s perfectness, and that our end only pointed to a God that is never ending.

     Fast forward a glimpse into our marriage—the wedding pictures are now posted on Facebook and the wedding band on my ring finger feels like it’s always been there. Husband and I start dreaming up future baby names. We plan out our first girl and brainstorm for the first boy, and I had then created a note in my phone with a running list of possible names and at least four typed out names that we will absolutely use no matter what our in laws or coworkers say. Then I realize, I knew where my heart was going. Yearning for something beyond the now. Desiring something that God has not yet willed to me only because my heart wants to believe that it might fulfill and complete me.

     Through these moments I realized, it’s not that wedding dresses and baby names are things we cannot choose. Rather, we must choose the primary blessing before the secondary. Choose our Creator before the wedding dress, and our Father before the baby names. Throughout our engagement I was aware of the temptation to find my identity in getting married and becoming a wife, and once dreaming up baby names for the future littles I was placing my identity in my hopeful days of motherhood. My heart was seeking these titles to fulfill me, to give me value and worth. What a gift it is that these titles are not my identity, that instead it’s Christ’s work that has made me pure, whole, and redeemed. That I am a daughter of the most High and a vessel for His grace and truth to those He brings into my life. Whether I am a wife or a mother, it is the source of our Primary blessing that is my sure foundation which lets me live out my identity in Him and experience the secondary blessings He ordains for my days.

     Whether we are in the midst of the season or seasons away from the reality—we should find our identity in the Primary blessing, the redemption we received from Christ on the Cross and the live that we may live as God has gone behind, before, and with us. It is through this that we may truly appreciate the fullness, nature, and timing of the secondary blessings; that we may come to know His design for the gifts He has willed to us, and the timing He has ordained into our days. Praise Him with me-- the God who has given us such sweet blessings to worship Him for and such sweet dreams to wait on Him for.

Written by Victoria Myers | Images by Anna Christine Photography

By His Wounds

Isn't this a sweet reminder of Jesus' love for us? With Easter approaching, I wanted to remind myself of the sacrifice that Jesus made for me. For you. He freely gave himself up so that we wouldn't have to suffer. I sometimes still have a hard time fully grasping that concept. Thank you, Jesus, for your love.

~Stephanie

Colossians 1:16-17 {Devo}

In a season when so many things are seemingly falling apart, Colossians 1:17 has steadied my heart.

"For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

The truth that Christ is constant and stable in the midst of an ever-changing life landscape comforts my heart in an extraordinary way. Not surprisingly, "Steady Heart" by Steffany Gretzinger has been an anthem I cling to in the darkness of these seasons.

May the words and melody of this song strengthen your faith in a God who is always faithful.

ISSUE 2 IS LIVE!!!

Our magazine's main purpose is to encourage you in your walk with Christ and provide tools for creating a marriage that honors the Lord. ENJOY!

Colors of Spring | Styled Shoot

In preparation for Joie Issue 2, we wanted to share the full styled shoot from Issue 1! We weren't able to show the entire shoot in the magazine, so I thought sharing the entire thing here would be a fun thing to do! We had so much fun with this shoot and we hope you enjoy the full collection!

Vendors:

Photography: Stephanie Rita Photography | Boston, MA

Styling: TarynAlyse Weddings+Events | Keene, NH

Hand-painted sign: HeartCrafted Co. | San Francisco, CA

Cupcakes: Cupcake City | Reading, MA

Florals: Whole Foods Market | Wellesley, MA

Hair+Makeup: Kathy Dunbar | Whitman, MA

Dress: La Reine Bridal | Waltham, MA

Lace Chandelier: DIY (tutorial www.julietgracedesign.com)

Dinnerware: Thrifted

Candle Holders: Heirloom

Models: Sarah and Alex

Location: Wellesley College | Wellesley, MA

{Wedding Planning Tip} 3 BIG Things!

The most helpful tip I got when I was planning my wedding was to pick 3 things that mattered the most to us as a couple and splurge on those 3 things. So that's what we did. We made sure those important things were taken care of, while also knowing that we had to be thrifty in the other areas of our day.

What were our 3 BIG things? Photography, food, venue. In that order. Photography, because when the day is done, it's all we'd have left to remember. Food, because if you have bad food, your guests won't like you. And venue, because we wanted rustic and nature-y and that's exactly what we got! 

We had generous help from our parents, but that doesn't mean there wasn't a budget. We had minimal flowers, and provided all the vases ourselves. We used my iPod (with a very carefully curated playlist) and a friend DJed (which went much better than I expected). Our church loaned us the speakers and mic for the ceremony and reception. I picked up most of the details from thrift shops, and made all the centerpieces myself. My husband's tux was from JCPenny (not kidding) and my dress, although not inexpensive, was probably my favorite detail of the day, which made it worth it. 

Your BIG 3 will probably be different from ours, but maybe not. Talk to each other to figure out what each person is envisioning. You may have to compromise on the 3 BIG things, but what is marriage without compromise! :) 

~ Stephanie

10 Resolutions for your Marriage

Fierce Marriage recently wrote a GREAT article on the 10 resolutions that will truly benefit your marriage and make it stronger this year. I am super inspired to put these to action in my own marriage. I highly recommend reading the original article here.

MORE:

Bible reading. You'll each grow in the Lord.

Prayer. Apart and together.

Encouragement. Praise each others strengths.

Quality Time. Just listening and being present.

Godly Community. Build each other up.

LESS:

TV. Good conversations will result.

Social Media. Less time will be wasted.

Work. Find a balance.

Complaining. Be grateful for what God has given you.

Unhealthy Arguing. Be constructive and kind.